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Pregnancy Announcement Reactions

by Krista Jevons 15. April 2014

Announcing a pregnancy is an exciting time. My husband and I are thrilled, and most of the time it is with joyous hearts that others share in our excitement. Most of the time; I have noticed two distinct, and opposite reactions by family and friends. The majority of the people we share the news with are genuinely happy for us and tell us how wonderful it is to be parents and to share in the miracle of life and the joy of creating a family. For many people, especially with grown children, their most fond memories are of their children as little ones and the quality time spent together. They are happy about an ever expanding family and wish us as much joy as they have. My husband and I love speaking with these people. It is encouraging and exciting to share their optimism.

On the other hand there are the few with the opposite reaction. Like the joyous parents, these parents too share their stories with us. These are the people who don’t seem to realize (or care?) that for us, we are sharing joyous news. These people sometimes don’t even extend the obligatory “congratulations” but instead launch into a teaching lesson on all the most negative pastimes they can recall.

Your life will never be the same, they say, pessimistically. You do realize, they chastise, that you will never sleep soundly or enjoy a vacation in the same way again.  Children are expensive, they caution, and they require a lot of attention and care- for an entire lifetime! We’ve even been told children put strain on marriages, with the ever so kind after thought that “it’s too late now.” One of these naysayers, who did not congratulate us, expressed his disappointment at being a parent in front of his own child!

Do these people think we don’t understand what parenting is all about? Do they actually think we fumbled into this without realizing what we were doing? I wonder what they could possibly be thinking. That they are doing us a favor by warning us? Do they realize we are happy about starting a family or did they miss that social cue? Do they honestly think they are giving us good or meaningful advice? More importantly, do they understand that many people do not feel the same way they do?

I try not to let all these pessimistic comments bother me, and I am sure that my experience as a parent will contain more joy and happiness than sorrow and regret.  Still, I can’t help but be annoyed that these few people don’t even know that it is the social custom to congratulate an expecting mother and father. Maybe even the word congratulations is too optimistic for them.

I suppose this world is filled with all kinds of people and some are just naturally happier and more optimistic than others. Perhaps the negative people cannot contain themselves, kind of like the way the happy ones cannot contain themselves. Maybe they are trying to be kind and this is the best they could do.

Luckily, my husband and I (and most of our family) fall into the more optimistic category and it is through this lens that we see the world.  We have been through a lot in our years together and our future looks wonderful through our rose colored glasses. We both welcome the adventure of parenting.

 

 

   

Babymoon?

by Krista Jevons 9. April 2014

I must admit, when I first heard the term, ‘babymoon’ I was a little skeptical. Is this one of those things baby crazed mothers do? I was only about 10 weeks and found myself wondering, what is this, some strange middle class way of celebrating being pregnant? Is it for people who are having a baby outside of marriage? Or is it for people who never had a honeymoon? I just did not get it.

I eventually came to understand what people actually meant by ‘babymoon.’ If you talk to enough parents you will realize that even the ones who do not use this specific term are referring to the same thing. The babymoon is the last vacation a couple will take sans child. I was still a little cynical. Are babymooners celebrating the fact that they will no longer have to vacation without a child? Or do they feel a sense of urgency that this is their last chance to be together without a child? Is it a goodbye to coupledom? Aren’t people happy for the monumental change their lives are about to make (are making right now)? Is this all selfish? Self indulgent? Just plain fun?

 

The answer to all these questions is yes. People love their children and their lives with children.  As my belly grows so does the realization that life will be changing in a major way, and this brings on a small sense of urgency. For nearly 10 years now, my marriage has consisted of only my husband and me. A mere 10 days after our 10 year anniversary our marriage will be shared forever by our first child. This makes me exceptionally happy. I am feeling emotional just writing this. But I must admit, it makes me just a little nervous as well. What if I can’t handle motherhood? What if my husband and I become so wrapped up in our child we forget about each other? This third person will change the dynamic of our lives for sure- he already has, and we wanted that. We knew what we were getting into here, but at the same time this is our first child, so we don’t really know what we are getting into.

 

Now at 25 weeks I can better understand the desire for a babymoon. We have ours planned for next week. It’s a celebration of everything- of life; our lives together as a couple, our lives to be as a family and the life of our growing baby boy. Since the baby is due practically on our anniversary, it is also a celebration of our 10 years of happy marriage. We need to spend the week relaxing and enjoying our lives in this moment. Selfish and self-indulgent are harsh words, but we can be a little selfish and self-indulgent. Everyone needs some of that in their lives to stay grounded. Next year our vacation will actually include the baby, but for now we are celebrating the life we’ve created together and the joyous change our lives will be taking a just a few short months. Let packing for the babymoon commence! 

Introducing Krista Jevons

by Karen Lantzy 7. April 2014

We are pleased to introduce our newest contributor to the Bellevue Blog.  Krista Jevons of Rensselaer, and her husband Kelly, are expecting their first baby in July. They already know they’re having a boy! Krista is a pre-Kindergarten teacher for the Rensselaer City School District and Kelly is fitness coach. Krista will be blogging about their experiences on their pregnancy journey as soon-to-be first-time parents. We are thrilled that Krista will be sharing her thoughts and feelings about this exciting time in their lives with all of our readers. 

On behalf of all of us at Bellevue Woman’s Center and Ellis Medicine, thank you for sharing your experience. We look forwarding to being there along the way and helping to welcome your baby boy this summer!

 

Feeling the baby move

by Lisa Centi 18. February 2014

Feeling the baby move inside my belly has been a really amazing thing to experience. I remember the first time I felt her flutter inside was when I was cashing out at the grocery store and I suddenly jumped because I felt like there were butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t know what a baby would feel like moving inside, so I just thought maybe it was indigestion. Once I told my mother about it though, she told me that was actually the baby! The flutters started happening more frequently and my husband was even able to feel them when he put his hand on my belly. It was just another indication that there was a small miracle growing inside of me.

As the months went on, they became more intense and I started noticing a pattern to her movements. It was usually when I was resting on the couch after dinner when she was most active. My husband and I began to look forward to feeling her move around every night. Now, being in my third trimester, her movements are much more noticeable and we can see her move just by looking at my stomach. I can even feel her when she coughs or has hiccups and she often juts her foot out in my side, which feels really strange. It’s simply amazing to feel her movements and know that she is a healthy, active baby.

Last time I went to the doctor’s, they told me to start conducting kick counts. I need to make sure I feel her kick 5 times within a half-hour at any time during the day. She’s not really on a schedule anymore, so this can sometimes happen first thing in the morning, after lunch or after I have a big dinner. Most of the time, when I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, she keeps me up for a while moving around. Hopefully this doesn’t mean she’ll be up during the nights when she’s born!

Feeling her move around all the time is definitely a reassuring feeling because I know she’s growing and healthy. Although, we only have a few more weeks and then she’ll finally be here.

 

Maternity Classes

by Lisa Centi 7. February 2014

Just recently, my husband and I attended one of the maternity classes offered by Bellevue Woman’s Center. We took the class, “Prepared Childbirth” which was 3 classes over the course of 3 weeks on Thursday nights from 6:00 – 9:00 pm.  We didn’t really know what to expect when signing up, but we knew it would end up being valuable in some way, so we were excited to take it.

One of the things I really enjoyed most about the class was the chance to communicate and interact with other couples who were also expecting a baby. It made me feel that we weren’t the only ones on the planet going through this exciting, yet scary life change. It seemed everyone had the same feelings, fears and anxieties that my husband and I were experiencing so we felt comforted by that. One of the first things we did was have a group activity where the men and the women split up into separate groups to discuss their pregnancy discomforts. It was amazing; all the aches and pains I was feeling were also felt by all these other women. Some of the top discomforts discussed were back pain, heartburn, not being able to sleep due to leg pain, painful jabs and kicks from our babies and having to use the bathroom several times during the night. It was nice to discuss all these complaints with people who understood exactly what I was going through.

Most of the class consisted of our teacher, who was an RN at Bellevue, going through the stages of labor with us and what to expect when that time came. I never realized there were 4 stages of labor or that you can give birth in multiple different positions; whichever one feels the most comfortable. We also discussed our birth plans and even watched a birthing video, which definitely opened my eyes to what to expect. One of my other favorite parts was when we had meditation and our husbands had to massage and rub our backs!

Overall, I was very happy that my husband and I took this course because it has made us feel much more prepared for labor. We still don’t know exactly what to expect, but now we have a better understanding of what we want and what might happen.

 

The Registry and Baby Shower

by Lisa Centi 29. January 2014

The really fun part of expecting a baby is picking out the nursery theme, deciding what items you are going to put on your registry and looking forward to your baby shower, if you’re going to have one.  There are tons of brands you have to choose from when it comes to all the items you’ll need, such as the stroller, bassinet/cradle, bottles, etc.  It can be very hard to decide which brands will be the best and most durable, while also being somewhat affordable to your family and friends.  

To make it a little clearer for myself, I decided to contact all the women in my life that were mothers. This included sisters, sister-in-laws, my mother, mother-in-law and friends. Everyone sent me their list of things they couldn’t live without and things they found out they didn’t actually need after-all. I did some of my own research online when it came to the big stuff, such as the stroller, the baby video monitor and the crib. I found this article online that helped me pick out the right crib and bedroom set: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/cribs/buying-guide.htm.

Once my registry was decided upon, I was able to start looking forward to my baby shower, which I just had this past weekend. My family did a beautiful job of decorating the house, since it was at my brother and sister-in-law’s. It was a sea of pink balloons, candy and clothes, which made me even more excited about having a baby girl. It was heartwarming to see all the work they put into the party for me and my little girl. I loved every little detail. One thing I realized very quickly was how much women love going to baby showers because they love to buy baby clothes! I think I received enough clothes to last Evangeline through her entire first year, which was truly a blessing. We also received most of the big items that were top priority, such as the stroller, monitor and bassinet.
It was loads of fun going through all the clothes and other items to show my husband later that night, he loved seeing all the girly things. Now I just need to organize them and get ready for Evangeline’s arrival, which is soon.

  

Finding out the baby’s gender

by Lisa Centi 23. January 2014

Waiting until week 20 to find out if we were having a boy or a girl was a very anxious, but exciting time in my life. It seemed I was counting down the days until our next ultrasound after we had our 12-week one. My husband and I already had a boy and a girl name picked out, but we were keeping them a secret until we found out for sure. We wanted it to be a big reveal in more ways than one to our family and friends.

When my husband and I arrived at our appointment, we could barely sit down in the waiting room we were so eager. The ultrasound technician began by checking the baby’s vitals, organs and body parts to make sure everything looked good and healthy. The 15 minutes it took her to do this seemed like a lifetime. Of course, I wanted to make sure my baby was healthy, but waiting for her to tell us the news felt like forever. Finally she looked over at us and said “It’s a girl!” My husband and I screamed as we both started to tear up with emotion. We were having a little baby girl! I will always remember the sensations I felt at that moment; it was a mix of joy, anticipation and unconditional love for our baby. I’ve never seen my husband so happy and I knew at that moment he was going to make such a wonderful father.

Our parents came over for dinner that night and we surprised them with a little pink and white cake with the words “Get ready for Evangeline Marie” written on the top. They were thrilled and couldn’t be happier about getting a new granddaughter and loved the name we had picked for her too.

We were enthusiastic to start getting ready for our little girl by picking out the nursery theme and registering for my upcoming baby shower.  We couldn’t believe that we had a daughter on the way and we were excited to meet her!

 

Dealing with morning sickness

by Lisa Centi 14. January 2014

As I was adjusting to the idea of being a new mother and sharing in the excitement with my family and friends, I was also being plagued by something that a lot of pregnant women must deal with - morning sickness. I think it really shouldn’t be called “morning” sickness since it can strike at any time of day and, for me, it definitely did. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe to someone who’s never experienced it. All I can say is that I felt that it was worse than having a lingering stomach bug. At times, it seemed as though it was never going to come to an end.

 

However, my bought with sickness wasn’t really as bad as other women I know. For example, my own mother had it so bad with all her pregnancies that she ended up in the hospital once or twice from being so dehydrated. I was lucky that didn’t happen to me, even though I felt, at the time, that my case was the worst ever. Especially since it would attack me every morning in the shower like clockwork, and then again in the afternoon after I would try to force down some lunch. The worse was if I ate the wrong thing for dinner or a snack that didn’t agree with me and made me unbearably nauseous.  For me, yogurt and salad were my worst enemies.

Along with morning sickness, I also felt exhausted. I remember getting up for work in the morning and feeling like I needed to lie down after every routine task. My morning routine became longer and longer. At work, there were times I actually fell asleep at my desk only to wake up to one of my co-workers laughing at me.

I believe it was around week 15 that I began to feel better. It was as if a huge weight was lifted off my back as my energy levels and appetite started to increase. At that point, I felt that I could finally start enjoying my pregnancy adventure.

 

Did you experience morning sickness? Share your stories with us!

Telling People I was Pregnant

by Lisa Centi 31. December 2013

After going to the doctor’s and beginning the whole pregnancy process, my husband and I started to discuss when exactly we’d plan on telling our family and friends. We were both so excited to let the people closest to us know about our news, but we had no idea when was the best time. Should we wait until the 2nd trimester when we know things are safe? Or is it better to let people know right away so they can share in our excitement immediately?  Either way, it was sort of fun and exciting being the only two people in on the secret for a little while, even though I was beyond anxious to tell everyone.

We decided to wait until after the first ultrasound, which was around 12 weeks. We knew there was no way we could wait until the 2nd trimester since we found out we were pregnant rather early around week 7.  With two very large families who lived around the corner, we figured if we waited much longer, they would begin to get suspicious due to my secret morning sickness. I tried to cover it up as best I could with saying I had a lingering cold I couldn’t get rid of.

So one summer evening when my side of the family was over at my brother’s house for a BBQ, my husband and I decided spur of the moment to tell them that night. It was about 2 weeks away from the 12-week ultrasound, but I honestly didn’t care because the news was ready to explode out of me.  I think the neighbors could hear the screams from my mom, sister and sister-in-law as we finally told them the news. It was such an exciting moment to finally share the thing that had us so happy the last few weeks…and it was also a relief not to have that secret any more.  We then went on to tell my husband’s side of the family and all our friends.  The reactions were all ones of happiness, excitement and a little shock.  

I think one of the greatest things about this whole situation is the loving family and friends we have surrounding us on both sides. Our little one is already receiving so much love without even being born yet, it’s amazing.  It’s like our baby is already part of the family!

Share your experience with us, how did you tell your family and friends you were pregnant?

Finding Out I Was Pregnant

by Lisa Centi 23. December 2013

I think the most exciting moment of my entire pregnancy experience so far, and I think most women would have agree with me, is that first moment when I found out I was actually pregnant. For me, it happened when I took an at-home pregnancy test in the comfort of my own bathroom. I didn’t really think I was pregnant, but thought taking it wouldn’t hurt. When I saw the 2 little lines slowly darken on the stick indicting I was pregnant, my heart stopped altogether in my chest. It was almost as if time stood still as I ran out of the bathroom and into my husband’s arms showing him the test… ”I’m…pregnant….” I barely sputtered out. I’ve never seen him smile so big.

Of course, we were leaving to go to Cape Cod with his family the next day and couldn’t say anything yet to them because we wanted to wait until we went to the actual doctor’s. The only thing I thought of was “how in the world will I go this entire vacation without touching a glass of wine with no one noticing…”  (Come to find out later, people did notice). And just to be sure, since one positive pregnancy test just isn’t enough, while out exploring one day, we bought another package of 2 and I proceeded to take one in a Dunkin Donuts bathroom. Of course it came out positive…and so did the one after that (which I took the moment we arrived home from vacation). At this point we were pretty certain I was in fact, pregnant.

After finally visiting the doctor and getting yet another positive test, that’s when the emotions of worry, excitement and everything else in-between began to appear for my husband and me. He, of course, was excited beyond belief about becoming a father and starting our new family. Whereas for me, I was excited about all of this as well, but also incredibly worried about what this meant about my already changing body. Things including; morning sickness, backaches, weight-gain…and of course, labor.  However, with worry aside, I knew our lives were going to be changing forever and in the best possible way. Our family was starting and our lives were actually beginning. I felt myself becoming part of the creation of a little miracle, and I couldn’t wait to see where the journey took me.